I have had a vision of me for several years now that I kept at a distance because quite frankly I was afraid of how hard it was going to be for me to make the vision a reality. I will be the first person to admit that I am comfortable. I have a comfortable life.
I am ‘quantumly entwined’ with the most amazing man on the planet, and although he still makes me melt, we are comfortable. We eat what we want when we want, we go where we want when we want, we buy what we want (well, mostly) when we want, we go to bed next to each other in a warm house we wake up next to each other in a warm house, we enjoy lazy weekends at swim meets - strolling through Atwoods, going to a gallery or taking in a show. One of our favorite things to do is load up the family and take a road trip, our vehicle, our speed, our destination; can be an hour or maybe 24, doesn’t matter to us, it’s an adventure and we are happy to have it together. Comfortable - cozy.
I have three awesome children that are doing great at creating their own lives, we offer advice and are there when they need a hug or a hand, but at this point, we are pleased spectators – loving the beauty of them! It’s wonderfully comfortable.
After years of being comfortable, uncomfortable is not a pleasant thought, but after years of being comfortable I am also a middle aged female that is a heavy smoker and 30 pounds overweight. I carry my 30 pounds pretty well, although, the back rolls are getting to the point that I can’t hide them. My smoking doesn’t really get in the way anymore, everyone knows I smoke and although they maybe wish I wouldn’t they have long since given up telling me I shouldn’t. I don’t have problems exercising, because I can’t – hard when you’re a heavy smoker, best just not to worry about that today. So I stay comfortable, because it’s what I do, easy, cozy. It’s not hard when your imperfections don’t inhibit the love you get from those that matter to you!
But I realized last August that I had smoked for 29 years. 29 years, I can’t fathom and don’t even feel that old, but the math doesn’t lie. Now I don’t really know if I started smoking when I was 14 or 15, I may have even been 13 – it’s not something you mark on your calendar. But wow, and at my 2 packs a day for the last at least 10 years or so how many more years can I do that?
I am ‘quantumly entwined’ with the most amazing man on the planet, and although he still makes me melt, we are comfortable. We eat what we want when we want, we go where we want when we want, we buy what we want (well, mostly) when we want, we go to bed next to each other in a warm house we wake up next to each other in a warm house, we enjoy lazy weekends at swim meets - strolling through Atwoods, going to a gallery or taking in a show. One of our favorite things to do is load up the family and take a road trip, our vehicle, our speed, our destination; can be an hour or maybe 24, doesn’t matter to us, it’s an adventure and we are happy to have it together. Comfortable - cozy.
I have three awesome children that are doing great at creating their own lives, we offer advice and are there when they need a hug or a hand, but at this point, we are pleased spectators – loving the beauty of them! It’s wonderfully comfortable.
After years of being comfortable, uncomfortable is not a pleasant thought, but after years of being comfortable I am also a middle aged female that is a heavy smoker and 30 pounds overweight. I carry my 30 pounds pretty well, although, the back rolls are getting to the point that I can’t hide them. My smoking doesn’t really get in the way anymore, everyone knows I smoke and although they maybe wish I wouldn’t they have long since given up telling me I shouldn’t. I don’t have problems exercising, because I can’t – hard when you’re a heavy smoker, best just not to worry about that today. So I stay comfortable, because it’s what I do, easy, cozy. It’s not hard when your imperfections don’t inhibit the love you get from those that matter to you!
But I realized last August that I had smoked for 29 years. 29 years, I can’t fathom and don’t even feel that old, but the math doesn’t lie. Now I don’t really know if I started smoking when I was 14 or 15, I may have even been 13 – it’s not something you mark on your calendar. But wow, and at my 2 packs a day for the last at least 10 years or so how many more years can I do that?
I stood with my youngest at church last summer and smashed a clay pigeon I had written what I needed to get rid of in my life this year. He asked what I put on mine and I told him – smoking. During this year he mentioned it once to me, but then let it go, I haven’t forgotten. You never want to let your kids down, but more than that I didn’t want to let myself down. Although I am comfortable I am tough. I married an Airman, spent 21 years with the Air Force, I’m not going to complain or tell you it was all that hard, but, it makes you tough. You can do anything you have to because you have to and when you get through it you say, wow, that wasn’t so bad and you hit the next challenge head on. I didn’t want to look at myself and say wow, couldn’t handle that huh?
So, on April 23, 2012 I quit smoking again!!! Yes, please don’t think I haven’t tried thousands of times and please don’t think that one week and 3 days is really quit, but… we started walking regularly, then walking/jogging. We have decided to run a 5K in June, so I am in training. My knees hurt, my thighs are tight, I’m tired, but I am one week and three days quit, and jogging (very slowly) 1 mile – walking 1 mile in the mornings before work!
I decided to spill this all over the internet because it will live here forever and I want to have to live up to that!
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